I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
