you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
