my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
