She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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