No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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