Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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