You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
