what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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