So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
