Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize