she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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