genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
