We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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