Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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