its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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