gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
