Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
