He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
