don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
