we're chasing vodka with high fives
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize