Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
