There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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