I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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