8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
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