Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
