Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
