Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
