Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize