I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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