i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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