Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
