We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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