I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Green mimosas i think yes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
