I'm jealous of your bromance
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
