I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
