Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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