im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
