We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
