if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
