I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
