well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
