3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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