im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
