Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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