He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
