im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
