do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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