(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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