I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
