You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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