Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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