He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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