think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Four minutes until I can fart!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
