I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
