Your face is a jimmy john
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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