he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
