Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
