hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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