"it" just moved
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
