D3 body, D1 cock
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize