My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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