So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
