you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
